Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Wook #17: Worst job ever

So, if you have never been to a Phish/Grateful dead/Jamband concert or to California or Madison, WI, you probably don't know what a "Wook" is. A wook is someone who usually has a nappy unwashed head of sloppy unkempt dreadlocks, doesn't shower, doesn't have a real job and likes to walk around the parking lots of concerts or at festivals asking for charity.

If you are a generally hard working person like me, you don't like the idea that someone who chooses (voluntarily) not to work or manage their money should be able to receive free beer, free concert tickets or even a damn grilled cheese sandwhich that someone else busted their butt to pay for. Wooks also enjoy selling stuff in parking lots, which is what I would call their job, but the items sold are usually drugs, which leads them to being arrested, which leads to the wonderful drain on society called: spare changing (spanging) for bail money. The plea of "my dog got taken by the ASPCA and I need $126.78 to get him out" is also a great one. Everyone loves a puppy, and everyone loves someone irresponsible enough to put their pet in a position (probably tied to a car's bumper" that it would be taken by the authorities.

Experts (ok, just me and some people I know) estimate that only about 10% of all pleas by wooks to get their friends/dog out of jail are legitimate, and that the rest are just blatant requests to give the wook money so he/she can continue not to work.

While all of us soon-to-be law grads are spending hours every day looking for work, the wook feels no pressure. He just relies on handouts to get by.

Disgusted yet?

Well, there is one "King of the wooks" known affectionately in jamband circles as Wook #17. This fellow so symbolized the wook culture that he was made a mascot of sorts. He also gave those who found his picture the opportunity to experiment with photoshop. In this post are several variations on the Wook #17 theme. A bunch of his photos are found on the Ween Forum. If you want to become a wook, no education, skills or hygeine is needed. Just stop doing anything responsible with your life and start counting on others to provide for you. (Or you can hope that "Jah" will hook you up with food and shelter.)

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